Introductions

Hello Everyone. 

This is a hard step to take.  It’s funny, because there is a part of me that grows bigger everyday, the part that wants to write this.  And every day it gets harder to ignore.  When I am away from the computer, my minds just spills over with things I want to say.  But on the other hand, putting myself out there is HARD.  Kind of like being the new kid at school.  To quote Shel Silverstein, the “What Ifs” dance inside my head.  What if Nobody likes me?  Especially when the “kids” at this new school are so cool they leave me in awe.

I first started lurking when in pursuit of info on fertility, I came across the Stirrup Queen’s website.  And from there I stumbled upon Julie, Paul and Charlie and Ben at A Little Pregnant, and was captivated.  I started reading before Charlie and Ben came along. Now I’m in a bit of an odd situation because my work closely monitors my internet usage.  And I hate just coming into a blog in the middle and having no clue as to what is going on.  I feel that if a person has put themselves out there in this manner, than the least I can do is read what they have to say, share in what they have had the courage to share.  So. . .my way around my employers monitoring was that when I came upon a blog I wanted to read, I would go to the  Archives and from the beginning, I would spend my breaks copying and pasting each entry into a Word document.  I could then peruse the entries at my leisure without worrying about the Computer Nazis.  This has at least two major drawbacks: 1.) I was always behind, trying to catch up with what was going on in the person’s story, and 2.) I couldn’t really comment on the situation.  This has rendered me the ultimate Lurker.  It gets more complicated though, because lately my employer had beefed up security and many of my favorite blogs have been blocked as now anything the computer detects as a “Social Networking” site is verboten.  This is really silly of them, because human nature being what it is, the more you try to tell someone they can’t do something; the more they are going to try to find ways to do it.  Just to prove they can.  And I think this was probably the final push I needed to actually start this blog.

Anyway, back to my point.  I have shared in the stories of many of my wonderful sisters in Blogland – Tertia, Marko, Adam and Kate at So Close; Tess, Charles, Sebastian and the Triumverate at Dim Sum Mum;  Olivia Drab; and Julia, Hannah and Caroline at Uncommon Misconceptions.  To name a few.  I have laughed and cried along with you, and had my ideas and beliefs stretched in new and wonderful ways. 

But here’s the kicker, I didn’t want to start my own blog because I’m not exactly in the same place as those I’ve mentioned.  And yet, I keep being drawn to their stories.  I wondered why, and then realized that even though our journeys may be distinctly different, I, like all of you, and even like the Biblical story of Hannah, know so well the longing to have a child.